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Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thoughts of a Suicidal


What's the worth of living when you're always living in pain?

These past few days, I've been through a lot...endured all kinds of pain. I tried to wipe it all out through crying but it seems useless, everything still hurts and keeps hurting. I love my life, I love everything that I am and everything that I have but there's no sense in living.
They say I'm always happy, I look happy, I look okay and that I am good at what I do but they don't realize that Damn! I'm just a good actress...pretending my life is fine! I'm just tired of struggling, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling but inside I'm truly dying.
I think I'm not gonna last long, I presume my life's gonna end soon no matter what it takes...I fear my God but I mostly fear to continue living...
If that day comes that I'll finally give in, I just want to be remembered as someone who gave her life for others, who helped people brighten up their days but even I couldn't brighten up my own.

Now Signing off!!! take care world!!! *mwah*

19 commentaries:

chubskulit said...

Hey there, just focus on the beautiful things that had happened to you and beautiful things that surround you. Remember that a lot of people are counting on you, God is using you to inspire other people. Are you gonna end that up? I hope you feel better when you wake up tomorrow. God bless!

ban yeong said...

I've also been through a lot of things...BUt there's one thing that keeps me going my little angel and my family and friends. Try to think of good memories. Count your blessings. Have you read my blog "Don't Quit"? Try reading it again and again. And pray to God. :)

Joops said...

I agree to the first two commenters, why think such a horrible thought... Life is too good to end it..

following your blog now..

HoneyBUZZin said...

Hi Bonita...
i felt that way at times..I felf sad too at times..but Bonita..I would like you to view my blog - http://honeybuzzhive.blogspot.com
Watch the YOUTUBE ...very inspiring..you'll shed tears. Giving u cyber hugs...be kind to yourself.
your cyber friend, Honeybuzz

Mahendra-Jambi said...

hi ganda....just fact the reality, and do not ever think the caused...slow down...

HOMER said...

hey this is one heavy post!!
id tell you this, i once have felt so disturbed that one day i almost gave up, pero i thought ill ended up as a loser if i let all the problems i have eat me to death.

Isipin mo nalang di lang ikaw may problema sa mundo, baka nga mas malaki pa ang problema ng iba saiyo.

Think of the poor people. think of the homeless children. think of the sick. think of the starved people in africa.

Youre lucky you eat 3x a day. youre lucky you have a pc and an internet connection to vent out your feelings. youre lucky you have friends and familY!

so cheer up there's so much a lot to be happy about! you just have to emrace them..

anyway thanks for supporting my blog we woN!!

nuts said...

hey, i saw this update in my blog, so i hurriedly quick that link. Everything in this world has its own purpose and reason, be it trials or sufferings. I am sometimes encountering big problems too, that i thought i couldnt get over it, but of course I made it through the rain, i think there's a song with that lyrics. :) Smile! life is so good, embrace it.

wwwkwata.blogspot.com said...

hei Bonita, please know this,life is so dear dear and all of us have gone through so much, i personally have and im not going to go through such pain of suicidal thoughts.You have to go through some difficulty one or the other and the beautiful thing is that those moments always pave way for better things.Stay the course and it shall come to pass.
hugs

peenkfrik said...

Almost everyone has troubled thoughts. Cried hard if you want but never let them get you. Life is complex and will always be like that.

Just hang in there and things are gonna be alright.

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

pagsubok lang yan sister.
dapat maging matatag tayo sa lahat ng pagsubok na binibigay sa atin ni Lord.
dami ko ng pagsubok na nadaanan sa buhay pero eto ako...buhay pa din. umiindak indak pa ^_^ thank u Lord at binigyan nyo ako ng pagkakataong mabuhay pa at makasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay ^_^

survivor mom said...

Hey Bonita, take it easy. hindi lang ikaw ang dumaan sa malaking problema. Malaki man ang problema, kaya natin yan.Nandyan lang si LORD para sa atin. Minsan din gusto ko na rin ng ganyan solusyon , buti na lang nag think twice ako. And now happy with my kids and my kids so happy for me.

Dhemz said...

I agree with all the people were saying...life is too short to waste...so make the best of it....May the heavenly Father will enlighten your mind...:) are you pregnant with a twin?

Bogie said...

Hello there! Thanks for leaving a comment in my blog.

I didn't know what you're going through but I am praying for you as I am reading your post. No matter how difficult our problem is.. but all of this will PASS. And when you're done facing this problem in your life, you will become a new person strong enough to face another life's challenges. Be strong my friend!

zuveena said...

hey!!! u better change ur perspective..n always rememeber life is beautiful and that u r not alone lots of people out there who are even worst than what u are experiencing it just how u deal it not in internal basis but more importantly external heal ur soul and try to reflect life is beautiful n i think i can help u cheer up..im good at it..im a good person contact me then..janicen05@yahoo.com

Nobe said...

we all feel that way sometimes. hindi mo siguro alam na mas malala pa ang problema ng ibang tao.

PS> please post another blog post before we all freak out. :)

joyjoy said...

hey.. life's a struggle... i may not know what you're going throught right now but i know for a fact that you'll get over it in due time... and when that time comes, you'll just laugh it off and say you made it through...

prashant said...

God is using you to inspire other people

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