For weeks now, I had lost one friend, I considered her as one of the best friends I've had however it all changed with one word she uttered. She once told me, "daghan pa ko'g problema para problemahon pa tika". Well, I guess I'm so sensitive and immature to get rid of her in my life but her words hurt me, though our fight was just a silly kid-like misunderstanding, she spoke out words that were nasty and upsetting. For weeks, we haven't talk and I can tell that she moved on and no longer needed me in her life. I feel that our friendship doesn't mean anything to her but for me it means a lot, I treasured them so much and cared about them a lot but I guess, I'm nothing to her. So I think It's gonna be goodbye for now... I just wished her happiness and I know she's happy with everything that's happening. I wanna try to keep in touch with her but the pain still lingers.
I now wonder, what are real friends supposed to be?
Once I needed their comfort but I found no consolation from them. Once, I need their shoulders to cry on but I ended up weeping on my own, feeling left all alone. I grieved, I cried, I surrendered, I broke down yet my friends didn't catch me before I fall and in the end, I learned to stand and move on without them.
But am I happy now?! The truth is, i still needed my friends and want to be with them but if they don't need me, should I force myself into their lives?!
I only wanted to have true friends who could see through my soul, who could reach out to me, who could read my pains before I could speak them out, who could be there for me no matter what and consider me as part of their life. Is that too much?!
Now, I'm still hurting but if they have moved on, then I should too!!!
Maybe it's goodbye for now....
Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye.