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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Lost Friendship


For weeks now, I had lost one friend, I considered her as one of the best friends I've had however it all changed with one word she uttered. She once told me, "daghan pa ko'g problema para problemahon pa tika". Well, I guess I'm so sensitive and immature to get rid of her in my life but her words hurt me, though our fight was just a silly kid-like misunderstanding, she spoke out words that were nasty and upsetting. For weeks, we haven't talk and I can tell that she moved on and no longer needed me in her life. I feel that our friendship doesn't mean anything to her but for me it means a lot, I treasured them so much and cared about them a lot but I guess, I'm nothing to her. So I think It's gonna be goodbye for now... I just wished her happiness and I know she's happy with everything that's happening. I wanna try to keep in touch with her but the pain still lingers.

I now wonder, what are real friends supposed to be?

Once I needed their comfort but I found no consolation from them. Once, I need their shoulders to cry on but I ended up weeping on my own, feeling left all alone. I grieved, I cried, I surrendered, I broke down yet my friends didn't catch me before I fall and in the end, I learned to stand and move on without them.

But am I happy now?! The truth is, i still needed my friends and want to be with them but if they don't need me, should I force myself into their lives?!

I only wanted to have true friends who could see through my soul, who could reach out to me, who could read my pains before I could speak them out, who could be there for me no matter what and consider me as part of their life. Is that too much?!

Now, I'm still hurting but if they have moved on, then I should too!!!

Maybe it's goodbye for now....

Goodbye

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye.
by: Rosebud

18 commentaries:

peenkfrik said...

Real friends don't have to always stick around you. You can miss them for years but when you see each other again, it would feel like nothing's changed. Just hang in there. Who knows if she'll come running back to you.

Madame K said...

ay kasakeeet. it's very rare to find a true friend indeed. someone you can count on to, someone who's always there for you.. and someone who never turns his/her back on you..

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shasha said...

i know just how you feel. losing a friend feels like someone dear to you just passed away. i grieved for a lost of a friend some time ago.but learn to forgive. that's how you will move on and heal the pain also.good luck!

niko said...

ow that is really sad to know.. real friends stick to you.. in sorrow and in joy.. i guess the real ones are just coming.. u have to wait for them :)

we can be friends too if you like :)

nikogirl said...

i shall quote what my very treasured friends quote..

every would like to ride with you in a limo but only TRUE friends will walk with you :) i guess i got it right.. :D

cry for the lost and move on. if they don't need you, pray for them.. they might need you one day and embrace them when they come to you :)

but at least you know now who your real friends are.

have a great weekend!

HoneyBUZZin said...

HUGS!

IamNoOne said...

If you can't your friends during your adversity, then they're not your friends after all.

You're not alone, there are other people who's mending their misery on their own.

Knowing you're fighting and surviving your life struggles, I can say that you have a strong personality. After reading your other posts (Thoughts of Suicidal), I am hopping you are doing better now.

You are so deep girl.

Following thig blog of yours. Also following your other blog.

chuwie said...

real friends are always there for you in good times and bad times.in this case i dont think they are your real friends..move on, after all, do you think you deserve her to be your friend if shes like that so immature, maybe she dont really know what real friendship means..

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passing by (".) said...

Hi..I know how sad and hurt u are.. last month i suffered same thing. I lost my friend because of her faults also, sometimes we uttered words that we really don't know that we hurt someone feelings. My mga tao talagang hindi alam ang worth mo bilang kaibigan kapag nanjan ka pa sa tabi nila, somehow marerealize nila na they need u kapag wala ka na, na hindi na kumpleto ung pagkato nila kapag wala ka na... I wished one day magiging ok din kau, and she should realize her faults...Real friends are hard to find.

passing by (".) said...

Hi..I know how sad and hurt u are.. last month i suffered same thing. I lost my friend because of her faults also, sometimes we uttered words that we really don't know that we hurt someone feelings. My mga tao talagang hindi alam ang worth mo bilang kaibigan kapag nanjan ka pa sa tabi nila, somehow marerealize nila na they need u kapag wala ka na, na hindi na kumpleto ung pagkato nila kapag wala ka na... I wished one day magiging ok din kau, and she should realize her faults...Real friends are hard to find.

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