Goodbye

Goodbye, My friend (Spice Girls)

Listen little child there will come a day
when you will be able, able to say, never mind the pain,
all the aggravation, you know there's a better way
for you and me to be
Look for the rainbow in every storm,
Fly like an angel heaven sent to me
Goodbye my friend, (I know your going searching although I can still feel ya here)
It's not the end, (You gotta keep it strong before the pains turn into fears)
So glad we made it, time will never change it no no no no no no no
Just a little love, Big imagination,
Never let no one take it away,
Went into the world (into the world)
What a revelation, She found there's a better way for you and me to be
Look for the rainbow in every storm,
Find out for certain
love is gonna be there for you, You'll always be someone's baby
Goodbye my friend, (I know your going searching although I can still feel ya here)
It's not the end, (You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fears)
So glad we made it, time will never change it no no no No no no no
You know its time to say goodbyeNo no no no
The times when we would play about,
The way we used to scream and shout,
We never dreamt you'd go your own sweet way
Look for the rainbow in every storm,
Find out for certain love is gonna be there for you,
You'll always be someone's baby
Goodbye my friend, (I know your going searching although I can still feel ya here)
It's not the end, (You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fears)
So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it No no no no
You know it's time to say goodbye No no no no
And don't forget you can rely No no no no
You know it's to say goodbye,
And don't forget on me you can rely No no no no
I will help you help you on your way No no no no
I will help you everyday No no no no

 

• Back in my teenage years, we used to pretend to be the spice girls, we sang and dance at our classroom secretly, we do our concerts while cleaning the room after our class is over, we we're all happy and had high hopes for a better life ahead of us... we we're crazy! during those years, all i could think of was how lucky i am to have great friends who believed that i can sing and dance despite my lack of self-confidence! as i look back now, i can smile with pride and joy! even though we are now all apart, deep in me, i still cherish the friendship we created back in opal sensation years...it was one of the best years of my life!! =)

my love style

Someone once told me:

love?!

"You are the type to fall quickly and passionately in love, but will commit to a person forever when this happens. When you choose to love someone, it's going to be a strong relationship and nothing will come between you and your lover. But beware: love can turn you blind, and the rest of the world might cease to exist while you are in that honeymoon phase. When you come down from your high, you may find you have neglected other people and things that you love."

Well, apparently she's right. I fall in love so quickly, commit myself unconditionally and isolate myself from other people just to be with the person i love...i know i sound crazy and stupid but that's me! I always give my all, spare nothing for myself, so that when the day comes that we are fated to be apart, I'll never regret my doings =)

Lost Friendship

For weeks now, I had lost one friend, I considered her as one of the best friends I've had however it all changed with one word she uttered. She once told me, "daghan pa ko'g problema para problemahon pa tika". Well, I guess I'm so sensitive and immature to get rid of her in my life but her words hurt me, though our fight was just a silly kid-like misunderstanding, she spoke out words that were nasty and upsetting. For weeks, we haven't talk and I can tell that she moved on and no longer needed me in her life. I feel that our friendship doesn't mean anything to her but for me it means a lot, I treasured them so much and cared about them a lot but I guess, I'm nothing to her. So I think It's gonna be goodbye for now... I just wished her happiness and I know she's happy with everything that's happening. I wanna try to keep in touch with her but the pain still lingers.

I now wonder, what are real friends supposed to be?

Once I needed their comfort but I found no consolation from them. Once, I need their shoulders to cry on but I ended up weeping on my own, feeling left all alone. I grieved, I cried, I surrendered, I broke down yet my friends didn't catch me before I fall and in the end, I learned to stand and move on without them.

But am I happy now?! The truth is, i still needed my friends and want to be with them but if they don't need me, should I force myself into their lives?!

I only wanted to have true friends who could see through my soul, who could reach out to me, who could read my pains before I could speak them out, who could be there for me no matter what and consider me as part of their life. Is that too much?!

Now, I'm still hurting but if they have moved on, then I should too!!!

Maybe it's goodbye for now....

Goodbye

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye.
by: Rosebud

God's Rainbow

My life's journey have been in the bumpiest road ever...I'm in control of everything I do, I'm vague and pathetic...For days, I've cried oceans for incomprehensible reasons and doubted for someone to rescue me in my miseries. I tried to walk out of this troubled world but fate keeps pulling me back, I guess there's a good purpose. This day, I found this poem hanging on the wall at my workplace, it's a simple post with a deep meaning, by then I found myself clinging back to reality that God is giving me rainbow for my rainy days but I frequently get soaked for I never surrendered myself to him....

"God Gives You a Rainbow for every Rainy day"
by: Kelly Wolfe

Often it is through the most difficult days of our lives
that we come to know ourselves and what is truly most
important to us. No matter how sad you may feel at times,
be confident that hope will awaken with you tomorrow.

Faith and Courage reach out to you; take hold of them, and
you will find that you will be able to smile again and
truly be happy once more...

How we deal with life is really a matter of personal choice,
so choose to be happy. Find joy in the simplest things, and
see beauty in each person you met.

When times are difficult, remind yourself that no pain
comes to you without a purpose... Above all, trust in God's
handcrafted plan that he has made just for you...
Let him love you through life's joyous and painful aspects;
if you do, you will find inner peace and unending joy...

---

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Finally, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has aired and I finally got to watch it. This movie is an action/adventure, science/fiction, fantasy, romance and war film, directed by Michael Bay. It’s a sequel to the 2007 movie “Transformers”. Surely, this movie’s going to be a box office hit despite what critics say. The movie stars Shia LeBeouf, Sam Witwicky, Megan Fox, Miakela Banes, Josh Duhamel, Seargeant Lennox, Matthew Marsden, Isabel Lucas and a lot more.
The movie depicts the true bonding of the Autobots with the humans, how the autobots defended the humans and created a life of trust and friendship. The plot of the movie might berserk and round the bend but the overall film was moving, fascinating, funny and marvelous. The autobot, Optimus Prime is one of my favorite, he’s still the master and savior of all, without him, the sun will no longer rise. Another character I love is Bumblebee, the yellow Camaro autobot is quite hilarious, he made me smile when he cried and its heart-stirring every time he rescues Sam, he’s an amazing friend and protects you by not letting your boyfriend cheat on you. The twins are so cute, silly and amusing. A lot of scenes in the movies will make you laugh and make you tear-eyed too. I don’t give a damn to those who think that this movie suck, we all have opinions and likes, the movie simply brings back the child in me and made me learn some of the cruel lessons in life.

Sonnet XLIII

One of the poems I truly adore is Elizabeth Browning's Sonnet XLIII, it denotes one's confession of true love.

I've been in this world for quite some time now, been in loved, been hurt, been dumped and cried over someone who doesn't deserve it. I declared my love for them just like what this poem denotes, I haved loved him with the breath, smiles and tears of all my life and if my God do really choose him as my destiny, I wanna love him more till the end. Being in love for me is the most amazing feeling in this world but It will only be amazing if you are being loved back....

"Sonnet XLIII"
HOW do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
by: Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Well,to end my desperation in love, I just wanna say someday I simply hope to love and be loved better after death!! x.o.x.o

Personality Test

Today, I'm spiritless and I've been flipping through various sites for hours, glad, I found this site "http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx"...
I took one of their personality test and here's my test results:

It says....
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long!

Well.... The test quite deduced my personality, it tells things that surprised me and made me realize that I have those hidden qualities waiting to evolve!! However, I strongly disagree with the test perception of me being "confident" for no matter what I do, no matter what people say, I know deep in me...I am never confident with myself, with my abilities, with everything that I am, it's one thing that someday I should learn and hope to gain! heheheh! nite nite world! mwah...

Happy Birthday

Today's my Birthday, another year to celebrate God's gift of Life!! I'm thankful for everything he has given me, my life, my family, and friends!! I owe everything to my creator. Today might not be a good day to celebrate 'coz I'm terribly tired, I celebrated my birthday at work, from 12 am to 7 am, it's quite a distressing day to be happy but I'm trying to work things out and smile!!!

For weeks, I've planned to celebrity this day blissfully with my family and friends, to have a nice vacation somewhere I could find solace and happiness however due to unforeseen circumstances, everything I planned changed. I never thought I would spend my birthday at work for I have already requested a day off on my day but because some people just don't like me to be happy, my plans got ruined!!

Despite this, I tried to lift up my spirits and erased in my memory the pain caused by other people's selfishness, I continued to live and spend everything right because I believe my God has a purpose for giving me this challenge.

Today, on this beautiful day, on my birthday I am thankful for my life... I didn't sleep and went for a nice outdoor get-away with my family at Pizarro Resort, it was a peaceful place to bond with my soul, I spend the day with nature, swim and eat like it's my last day on earth! thankfully, I felt fulfilled and I'm glad that my friend bloggers greeted me too!!

And Here's a beautiful birthday poem engraved in my nephew's birthday present to me:

Beautiful Happy Birthday

Happy birthday on this beautiful day,
There's so many things, I just want to say.
You inspire many, with your thoughts and actions,
We're all so grateful, for your calm reactions.

Happy birthday on this beautiful day,
You've always been there, when we needed you to stay.
Kindness and thoughtfulness is your forte,
Our love for you, we wish to convey.

Happy birthday on this beautiful day,
We wish you the best, without any delay.
Hope you enjoy it, from beginning till end,
Here's a hug and kiss, we're ready to send.

Jesus take the wheel

I'm still alive and kicking, don't know where I got my strength and hope to continue living... I'm trying to decipher everything that's been happening, trying to comprehend my life's purpose. For now, I'm getting quite my inspiration from Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus Take the Wheel"... Take care world! mwah!

Thoughts of a Suicidal

What's the worth of living when you're always living in pain?

These past few days, I've been through a lot...endured all kinds of pain. I tried to wipe it all out through crying but it seems useless, everything still hurts and keeps hurting. I love my life, I love everything that I am and everything that I have but there's no sense in living.
They say I'm always happy, I look happy, I look okay and that I am good at what I do but they don't realize that Damn! I'm just a good actress...pretending my life is fine! I'm just tired of struggling, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling but inside I'm truly dying.
I think I'm not gonna last long, I presume my life's gonna end soon no matter what it takes...I fear my God but I mostly fear to continue living...
If that day comes that I'll finally give in, I just want to be remembered as someone who gave her life for others, who helped people brighten up their days but even I couldn't brighten up my own.

Now Signing off!!! take care world!!! *mwah*